2 0 s e 7 e n shadesofred.

This sort of reminder.

2012-01-16T01:35:00.003+08:00

I can't believe I just had 10 hrs of overtime work on a Sunday. I'm freaking shagged now but can't sleep. Listening to Daft Punk's Technologic on loop until I fall asleep... hopefully. Everyday feels like Monday. Work later.

To-do:

1. ~~Aunt's embroidery (5 more words to go I think)~~
2. Portrait zine (I still need to come up with a "story line")
3. Read all the paperbacks I borrowed from Shikin (~~Murakami's Kafka on the Shore~~, Bulgakov's The Master & Margarita, and Brothers Grimm's The Complete Fairy Tales)
4. ~~Set a date with Mo (I don't know how many times she've asked to meet up and I keep telling her soon, soon. It's been 4 months I think)~~

To-do (when my pay's come in):

1. Buy a reliable pair of shoes, preferably Dr. Martens or that nice pair on Etsy (honestly, this pisses me off because the shoes I buy never lasts me a year!!! and now I'm left with a pair from New Look, which expands so it doesn't fit me. While my other maroon pair looks like a dog chewed on it. And my 3 yo sneakers already have holes)
2. ~~Send the printed fabrics (I bought from a million yrs ago) to the tailor to make the knee length dress and blazer~~

Addition:

1. ~~Go on a date... with a guy.~~

More addition:

1. Dian's dress design for her nikah.
2. Mo's caricature for her wedding's welcoming sign.
3. Bouquet flower shopping.

Of life.

2012-01-15T09:28:00.001+08:00

Yes I finally set a date with my best friend and actually met up with her yesterday! We exchanged gifts, ate and talked for hours on end. So far 2012 has been treating me well. Thank You God for all the good things in life. And forgive me, for everything wrong in life.

The film with the soundtrack that had Karen O covering Led Zep.

2012-01-07T23:56:00.007+08:00

So I finally brought myself to go on "that date". If you call a movie followed by thai food followed by the national library followed by the book store with the occassional smoke breaks inbetween, well, a date. I swear I wasn't obliged to nor hesitant. It's the new year so why the hell not. And no, I didn't smoke, I accompany. Most importantly I had a good time. And I'm glad to have made a friend with a former stranger. We watched The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the David Fincher version (who also directed Fight Club), and it was really really good. For those of you already 21, go and watch it. For those of you who's not, well wait for it to go online or rent/buy it when it's out in stores.

This ache you call feeling.

2012-01-05T20:23:00.001+08:00

I woke up around midday from a horrible slumber. I wasn't up for work with invisible hands constantly stabbing at my womb with knives. I should be used by the pain now but it has gone from dull ache to immense throbbing. I will never stop talking about my menstrual cramp experiences until a stop has been put to it. Bear with me. So it was only my little bro and I with the quiet house all to ourselves. Two individuals very much alike but too stubborn to admit it, both of us. I watched my bro with his headphones on in front of his digital piano, somewhat amazed because this dude can actually read notes but worried as well. We are both dreamers with heads up above the clouds, and the worst that could happen would probably be if he ended up like me. That's why I don't mind sacrificing a percentage of my salary to pay for his expensive piano lessons. I've had a lot of failed heart-to-heart talks with him. But I'm glad I tried. He's still unsure of what he wants to do in life, but whatever it is I'm up for it. This Monday he will receive his O level results. I always tell my younger siblings that grades are merely alphabets. Just because you're not good at some things doesn't mean you can't be awesome at other things. Right? For now, I'm just praying for the best. Allah knows best. Amen.

This is when Monday feels like Sunday.

2012-01-02T22:05:00.001+08:00

Today was good. In the morning, brought my whole family out to Pulau Ubin. We went cycling. The crazy uphills, I nearly just want to give up, get off the bike and just throw myself onto the grass while my heart kept beating itself up against my rib cage like it wanted out. Of course we were all rewarded with the awesome downhill slopes and the steeper it was, the better. Everytime I went downhill (whilst ignoring the dismount and push sign) I imagined myself get thrown off my bike halfway, roll down the gravel road and then break my neck. I turned around and saw dudes in bike helmets, proper suits and expensive bikes. I look at myself in a flower print dress and rented bike with its loose chain and thought, I am going to die. So this is what crazy cheap thrills feels like. Hats off to my parents who made it through. Though the most exciting part of the whole trip personally was seeing the wild boars close up. You have no idea how much I've always wanted to see them every time I go to Pulau Ubin. Because I couldn't get a close enough shot of them using my phone camera without actually going close to them, I swear I thought the boar was going to head butt me. I saw this huge spider as well, and spotted a wild sea otter! Whoa. I am old and this form of exercise can last me the whole month. Reached home at 4 and totally chilled. My sister made no bake Oreo cheesecake, and I hung out most of the afternoon on the couch eating it and watching movies. Work tomorrow, people.

This is my fresh page.

2012-01-01T16:48:00.000+08:00

If you want to know what song is stuck in my head? That Death Cab For Cutie song. Yes the one that goes, "So this is the new year, and I don't feel any different" Yup. Also I finally finished the piece below. It took me a month. Good timing. Now what stuff should I make/do next?

Curious as a cat or scaredy cat?

2011-12-31T23:50:00.000+08:00

Holiday season's the best when you get a seat in the bus on your way to work because everyone else's on leave. I don't like my job but it pays and I try to appreciate the fact that I get to see the sea everyday. If I overtime and leave work later than usual, the sun long set and it's dark outside I'm able to experience the late evening breeze bringing with it the smell of salt and sand. When I stand at the photocopying machine I feel like that protagonist from Fight Club where everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. And then I'll get really emotional and quietly cry on the inside. And I forget that I'm fortunate enough to earn a living and see the sea everyday. At that very moment where I'm standing by the photocopying machine is when I feel most depressed, sad and... alone. But when God gives me a date to go out with, I procrastinate. When a guy tells me he likes me, I dash for the nearest exit. When we've been going out for far too long, I let myself disappear. When my best friend asks me out, I postpone. I feel like Virginia Woolf and her periodic mood swings. I dream of a husband like hers who'd stuck by her all those years. No, this is not my new year's resolution. If I think about change, I'll look at my childhood photos and see that I'm still the same moody girl who glares without meaning to. I'm sorry. Happy new year. God be with all of us. Amen.

Remember this post?

2011-12-24T19:23:00.003+08:00

To-do:

1. ~~Aunt's embroidery (5 more words to go I think)~~
2. Portrait zine (I still need to come up with a "story line")
3. Read all the paperbacks I borrowed from Shikin (~~Murakami's Kafka on the Shore~~, Bulgakov's The Master & Margarita, and Brothers Grimm's The Complete Fairy Tales)
4. Set a date with Mo (I don't know how many times she've asked to meet up and I keep telling her soon, soon. It's been 4 months I think)

To-do (when my pay's come in):

1. Buy a reliable pair of shoes, preferably Dr. Martens or that nice pair on Etsy (honestly, this pisses me off because the shoes I buy never lasts me a year!!! and now I'm left with a pair from New Look, which expands so it doesn't fit me. While my other maroon pair looks like a dog chewed on it. And my 3 yo sneakers already have holes)
2. ~~Send the printed fabrics (I bought from a million yrs ago) to the tailor to make the knee length dress and blazer~~

Addition:

1. Go on a date... with a guy.

Anw, it's good to have the long holiday weekend and not have to come back to work to do overtime. My Saturday so far... embroider, nap, embroider, nap, lunch, embroider, nap, tv, embroider, nap, embroider. Enjoying it while it lasts people. Happy holidays.

Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late at night.

2011-12-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

Worked till 8, then had a real good conversation with Dian and her fiance over dinner. Walked home and thought about things. And this song by Ingrid Michaelson came up in my head. This is my l'esprit de l'escalier. Dear God, all I ask of You that I be ok. And I thank You that You have been with me all the way. Though forgive me if I've been a dismay.

Tanjung Pinang, Indonesia.

2011-12-13T22:56:00.000+08:00

Last weekend, my family and I went for a short getaway with the paternal relatives to Tanjung Pinang, Indonesia. This post is in memory of the flavorful mee soto, crammed van ride, chillax while drinking teh bandrik resulting in ginger overdose, Gunung Bintan hike with dad and sibs, amazing beach scene and near translucent water, full lunar eclipse and rooftop star gazing, and lastly, rare family bonding.

Thank You God. For everything :')

I'm all out of blue thread.

2011-12-03T11:39:00.000+08:00

This is the part where I say, it's complicated.

2011-11-17T23:00:00.004+08:00

This week's been pretty intense. The kind where you come to work the next day and people question your swollen eyes. When a close friend asks if you'd been crying and while you explain your situation your voice trembles. It was another day of words that stab at your heart. The kind of truth that hurts. The kind of overwhelm that overflows. The kind of pressure that makes you want to explode. People telling me to forget about it but I can't. I may forgive but forget... I cannot do.

I also asked God if He could make me sick. Everyone else was falling sick from flu and fever. And I thought, why not me? And I questioned if God had love them more. Yes, I was jealous. Is that crazy? And He did. With the worst kind of throbbing pain and three days of sleepless nights. I just blew 200 bucks on dental and it still hurts. And every 8 hours I've been popping in painkillers. Before I went to the dentist it was 4 pills every 6 hours. Is that crazy?

Now I'm broke. I deserve this. I finally finished the embroidery for my aunt. She paid me a hundred bucks, which I didn't even ask for. And I blew it on painkillers and antibiotics. I honestly think I don't deserve the hundred dollars. But well it helped pay for dental. There goes my savings for a pair of Dr. Martens.

So yeah, the week's been pretty crazy intense.

This is my eid adha two-oh eleven.

2011-11-08T18:40:00.014+08:00

Eid adha was awesome. And what about it that I love so much was because it was effortless and simple and unpredictable. We didn't go to Padang for eid prayers. We went to a funeral in the morning. At my aunt's place my cousins and I helped make a spicy Javanese dessert, rojak parut, a recipe brought down by my paternal grandma. That was so much fun, I thought. Then in the evening of the first day of eid headed to Johor Bahru by public transport in our baju kurung and our heavy backpacks, where my maternal grandparents are currently residing with my uncle. Stayed over at his place for one night. And we watched Transformers 3 before heading to bed at 2 in the morning.

It was real good. Thank You God.

This kind of don't make sense but... it could.

2011-11-05T18:06:00.002+08:00

I don't have much to say really. This has got to be one of those meaningless random blog posts when the thoughts in your head all float around and you don't really know what to talk about. Well today is sort of sad because I wasn't able to fast on Arafah. Since it's Eid Adha tomorrow I decided to change my bedsheets. I won't be able to do my eid prayers too and I'll have to sit by the bleachers instead. It had been years since I last sat on the bleachers. Did time moved forwards or backwards? Two weeks into my new job already. I'll be picking up my pass this coming Tuesday. Did I ever imagined working in finance before? If I tell you I'm not scared I'd be lying. I guess all this... is just experience. After all my only wish is... to be a better person.

The twenty seventh hundred to-do list.

2011-10-30T23:04:00.001+08:00

To-do:

1. Aunt's embroidery (5 more words to go I think)
2. Portrait zine (I still need to come up with a "story line")
3. Read all the paperbacks I borrowed from Shikin (Murakami's Kafka on the Shore, Bulgakov's The Master & Margarita, and Brothers Grimm's The Complete Fairy Tales)
4. Set a date with Mo (I don't know how many times she've asked to meet up and I keep telling her soon, soon. It's been 4 months I think)

To-do (when my pay's come in):

1. Buy a reliable pair of shoes, preferably Dr. Martens or that nice pair on Etsy (honestly, this pisses me off because the shoes I buy never lasts me a year!!! and now I'm left with a pair from New Look, which expands so it doesn't fit me. While my other maroon pair looks like a dog chewed on it. And my 3 yo sneakers already have holes)
2. Send the printed fabrics (I bought from a million yrs ago) to the tailor to make the knee length dress and blazer

Well that's that. Now I shall finish my tea, head for bed and read Murakami to sleep.

Good night.

Via BlogPress Lite.

While I procrastinate I do things that not's really on my priority list.

2011-10-30T14:23:00.007+08:00

During the mooncake festival, I got stung by the lantern hype and bought these small lanterns I'd placed on my shelf. They're nice but kind of sloppy and lame (and I don't mean it in a mean way). So a few weeks ago I was in Bras Basah to visit the bank and while I was walking around the area, chanced upon these huge circular lanterns with floral prints. I thought I had to get it, which I did. I bought two but today I decided to hang one up in my room. However, instead of hanging it up with a string, I found out I could fit my night lamp into the lantern and so now it acts as a "shade" for my night lamp. I showed it off to my parents and siblings and they were like "meh" but it's alright, I love it!

People call me a homebody, I tell them hey I can be adventurous as an armchair traveler too.

2011-10-30T14:03:00.006+08:00

So what have I been up to these days? Well work and the Singapore Writers Festival in the weekend. Yesterday, Shikin and I went for an art house film screening, Last Life In The Universe, at the Singapore Arts Museum. The film was 2 hours long followed by an hour of Q&A with the screenwriter. It is about this obsessive-compulsive clean freak, Kenji, who thinks about commiting suicide all the time. There were some complicated love scenes, some gruesome Yakuza killing scenes, and some surreal high on pot scenes thrown into it. The scene that's still stuck in my head even after a day away from when I last watched it has to be when Kenji's brother got his genitals cut off and there was blood all over his thighs and legs. He was crying, sobbing loudly and was begging for his life but still got shot dead. That kind of caught me off guard. But it was still a good film though.

Apart from the SWF which ends today, I've done a whole load of procrastinating. I'm trying to finish up this embroidery of a prayer, something my aunt had asked me to do, which is taking me ages. If I'd not been procrastinating, it'd probably be finished weeks ago and I'd be doing something else like perhaps continue working on my zine or finish the Murakami novel.

Urgh. Procrastinating is stupid.

If I was born on the 27th instead of the 26th would it have been any different?

2011-10-26T23:55:00.008+08:00

It's the Singapore Writers Festival week and who's going? Yes me! I'm going with my cousin, Shikin, who's an English lit major. I'm glad she's up for it too as she had definitely helped me a lot on which author or writer to look out for, which is amazing. So far I've been to two discussion panels, Politics and Society: Is the Pen Always Mightier? and Getting Lost: The Sly Art of Travel Writing. Both were good. I was totally mersmerized by Catherine Lim, who is a local writer, on the Politics and Society panel. The thoughts and opinions she shared about the political scene in Singapore. The way she articulated her words. I was pretty amazed. While that panel was serious, Getting Lost was hilarious. It was a full house that some of us had to stand. And listening to them share their travel stories was eye-opening or should I say mind opening? Can't wait for next weekend, there are a few more programmes we'd like to go to before SWF ends.

And today had a good lunch with my family. Yes it's my birthday. I think I had too many shrooms in one sitting. It was all nice before everything about the day went downhill but let's not go into details.

And tomorrow will also be my third day of work at the new place. God be with me.

It's like a love/hate relationship with the rain.

2011-10-23T01:50:00.000+08:00

Today was the kind of relief you feel when you reach a secure and safe place after being chased by a group of the walking dead. But at the same time, it was the kind of surprised melancholy you feel when you get too attached to something you don't actually like. Overall, as always, it was a mixture of emotions. Not like fireworks but more solemn like spilled paint of various colors. I guess this is me rolling with the punches. Walking against the wind slaps. Literally, I am left with papercut bruises and a worsen eyesight. But hey, I could deal with this aftermath; merely wounds that could and would heal. Most importantly, the experience had taught me heaps. And like any other moments, I learn more about myself too. How do I make this sound less vague? Yes, I quit my job.

weltschmerz \VELT-shmerts\ , n; Sentimental pessimism; sorrow that one feels and accepts as one's necessary portion in life.

2011-10-09T19:20:00.000+08:00

A good long walk was all it took, from Tampines to Simei to Tanah Merah and back.
And when strangers threw a smile at me, I just stared back.

***************************

Here we go, I'll smile for you now 'cause you're sad
but I'm not allowed to be sad
Here we go, I'll make a joke for you now, make you smile
but I'm not allowed to be sad

This was last Saturday at Lido Theater Two.

2011-09-26T21:46:00.010+08:00

I'm giving the Sign of the Horn together with a thumbs up to The Other F Word. The next time an indie band signs a contract with a major record label I'm going to stfu. When one of the dads, I think it was Joe from The Vandals, talked about how people would diss bands who'd partner with huge corporate consumer conglomerates for promotion purposes but these same people, they would be wearing Nike and drinking Starbucks, he kind of stepped on my foot there. He was right, we do not have the right to judge their decisions when they need to put food on the table and provide the best for their families. So next time, remind me to stfu.

That's it for me for this year's Singapore International Film Festival. Next up, the Singapore Writers Festival here I come.

I know I need to work on my low blood pressure when I start experiencing black outs and cold sweats again.

2011-09-21T22:14:00.000+08:00

This was tonight at The Arts House.

2011-09-18T23:50:00.011+08:00

Today is I'm glad it's over.

2011-09-17T20:26:00.003+08:00

Today I learned that you don't really miss miss a person. Like when you don't meet someone for a long time. Or it's just been awhile. You tell them you miss him or her through phone conversations, text messages, e-mails or letters. Then one day both of you meet in an event or some place and suddenly you don't really know what to say to each other. You get past the normal greetings and how are yous and then you hit a wall of what the hell am I supposed to say now? What used to be comfortable silences becomes awkward. Admit it. You say you can talk about anything under the sun but that's what strangers do too. No matter how much you try to explain the situation, you never really miss miss a person. So today I learned that what I actually miss are the moments spent together. The memories. What used to be. Today I realized everytime I miss a person, it's simply me still holding onto the past. No matter how much I tell myself I've moved on, it's me lying. I guess I'd been trudging ahead on mud and had gotten soil stuck onto my boots.

This is one last quote from Survivor since I've finished it. Sorry, no photos.

2011-09-12T21:32:00.008+08:00

I know this book is meant to be funny but I started crying just as Tender hit his brother's face with a rock. This is when his brother has a bloody dashboard statuette sticking out his left eye after he banged his head against the dashboard when the car hit the wall. When he asks Tender to keep hitting his face with a rock and promises to tell Tender to stop if he couldn't take it anymore. This assisted suicide. I need a happy book to read next, one that would make me laugh out loud instead of ha ha ha.

"Maybe after everybody dying around me, I've just developed a skill for losing people. A natural talent. A blessing.

The same as Fertility's being barren is the perfect job skill for her being a surrogate mother, maybe I've developed a useful lack of feeling.

The same way you might look at your leg cut off at the knee and not feel anything at first, maybe this is just shock.

But I hope not.

I don't want it to wear off.

I pray not to feel anything ever again.

Because if it wears off, this is all going to hurt so much. This is going to hurt for the rest of my life."

-- Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor.

When I wake up this morning and decided I want to make something and give it away.

2011-09-10T14:48:00.002+08:00

~~If there is anyone out there, I'm giving these away. The first three to comment will get one according to sequence of photo. Email me your addresses. Locals only.~~

When my bruised uterus is in so much pain, I lie in bed and don't go to work.

2011-09-08T18:25:00.001+08:00

And if I can bear the pain, I read Survivor for the nth time and eat leftover Nutella pound cake I baked the other day (which was an epic fail by the way).

*********************

I look at myself getting older in the heart-shaped mirror.
A sign goes by the window saying, Drive to Stay Alive.
A sign goes by the window saying, Speed Checked by Radar.
A sign goes by the window saying, Lights On for Safety.

Fertility says, “Can you just relax and let things happen?”

I ask, does she mean, like disasters, like pain, like misery? Can I just let all that happen?

“And Joy,” she says, “and Serenity, and Happiness, and Contentment.” She says all the wings of the Columbia Memorial Mausoleum. “You don’t have to control everything,” she says. “You can’t control everything.”

-- Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor.

For the little princess.

2011-09-08T18:02:00.001+08:00

Today is my littlest sister's 21st. I NEVER buy any of my siblings presents during their birthdays because I don't make it a priority to celebrate them. We have family dinners outside though because then we'd have a reason to and family dinners are always good. If I receive presents during my birthday I appreciate them but I don't normally reciprocate. Because I want to give out of sincerity and not because I feel obliged to, you know? I don't want to give people some cut out board in the shape of the female toilet sign and say that it's the thought that counts when it isn't really. If it's the thought that counts, you want to at least show that you actually tried and not give something a toddler could make. I want to give something both of us would like and if we're very different individuals, at least give something the other likes. But how much does my opinion matter anyway?

So today I decided to make my sister a beaded bracelet for her birthday. In the end, I thought that it would be really great to give her something for her 21st. And not only because it's her 21st but because she has tolerated me for so long and have done so much for me. Thank you.

Happy birthday, Amierah.

When the little dees came over for eid visiting.

2011-09-08T16:53:00.001+08:00

My little cousins, Danish Aryan and Danielleya Arysha came over for hari raya visiting. Danish speaks very well now and Danielleya's always grinning!

This is my eid two-oh eleven's family portrait.

2011-09-04T10:00:00.001+08:00

And we don't do one color for the whole family because we're different like that. Selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin (:

These are my skeletons in my closet.

2011-09-02T02:22:00.000+08:00

You know those old boxes you keep well hidden under your bed or in your closet? The ones you uncover every pre-eid celebration. Coated with layers of dust. Your past in a box. Your old forgotten memories covered in dead skin cells and fallen hair. The things you can't let go. Old letters and photographs. Useless documents and artifacts. And then, there was that drawing of my late grandmother with pastel blue tears falling down her cheeks, which I drew while I was in primary one or perhaps primary two. It was probably just after she passed away. And you know that overwhelmed feeling you get? This is what the past does you. Like those old reeling films, you ached at every scene. Recollections from my old house. How I'd still see her lying on her bed with her back to the door when I passed by her room even after her death. The kind of haunt you find comforting. Those things you still keep under your bed? Stored in shoe boxes or recycled tins. Throw them out. Throw them out no matter how much it hurts. Throw them out because it hurts.

Via BlogPressLite.

And it's when you're heading downhill, you wished that time would move a little slower.

2011-08-18T23:47:00.000+08:00

Last night for the first time in my life, I looked through a friggin huge portable telescope and saw hundreds of stars against the dark night sky. They looked like sparkling confetti, which had exploded out of a dying star pinata. I was on my way to the interchange and my family and I had just left the mosque after tarawih. There was this guy who'd set up his equipment in the middle of the field just outside the mosque. And my dad had asked his permission to view the stars through the telescope's lens. It was a pretty awesome experience. Now I know what to get for my dad, if I have the money. Sometimes it's sad how little I know of him. But I guess as long as I'm alive, life will never stop surprising me.

Singing, "Tonight I'm dreaming, and I wish to stay there forever."

2011-08-15T00:12:00.004+08:00

Apart from my bruised uterus, this week had been a pretty good week. On Wednesday, I broke my fast with a bunch of non-muslim uni peeps whom I truly appreciate as they wait for Maghrib as well. Di just got back from the States and had dropped by Singapore for a visit. She'd treated all of us to ayam penyet, tahu telor and gado-gado, which was awesome. Kev had a a taste of the teh sosro and said it tasted like pee - I totally object! It being my all time favorite drink to order at any Indonesian restaurant that sells it. Then on Friday, had my iftar with my cousin, and had a good long talk with her too. There's just so much I'd like to type down in regards to these two separate meetings. But I guess it's the sort of feelings that are hard for other people to comprehend. All I know is I'm glad to have met them and have them be a part of my life. Thank you, God.

Below are just some random photos - what else? Also, I finally watched Beck - the live action film online and it was awesome!!! Hiro with his incredibly good looks (although I have a slight problem with his tweaked eyebrows), and the amazing Japanese punk/Nirvana/RHCP influenced guitar riffs. Am I making much sense? Who cares???

And if your life crumbles, think of it as cookie crumbs you could eat.

2011-08-09T14:03:00.000+08:00

I should be living
Giving my mind a chance to rewind
And playback beautiful music
I should be living
Giving my mind a chance to rewind
And playback dangerous rhythms

Photo 61/365 '11 + post about Abi.

2011-08-09T13:54:00.017+08:00

Some photos. And on a totally random, totally off note... this will also be a short post about my dad. Last two nights, as I was sitting at the study table together with him, I noticed a book which was opened in front of him - The Alchemy of the Heavens, Searching for Meaning in the Milky Way. And I thought, my dad's pretty weird. He was doing his normal routine after work, writing notes in his little notebook surrounded by books of various topics; from science to Islamic. I guess, if we had a study, he'd be cooped up in it. Sometimes I wonder what'd happened at some point in his life that he wasn't at the front of a lecture hall teaching maths or physics right now. I guess, we happened. My siblings and I. I looked at him and I see the man who introduced me to Star Wars. And cool computers games like Hell Fire, Diablo, War Craft and Star Craft. And bought me Mobile Suit Gundam collectibles, taught me how to ride a bicycle and showed me how to draw a horse, which I still fail at. He is the person who tell me things like, "If you notice, the super heroes from Marvel comics are mostly mutants while DC mostly aliens." He is the man who prefers trekking and exploration to soccer matches. The dad who is also an amazing cook. And even though he has a bad temper, I personally think he has anger management issues. Even though I have trouble communicating with him because we are both hardheaded and stubborn. Even though we fight and argue a whole lot. At that moment, as I quietly watched him from the corner of my eye, I thought that he had to be the coolest most awesomest most amazing dad ever. EVER.

Thank You God :')

Hot chocolate and yesterday's cold pizza for breakfast.

2011-08-07T10:56:00.000+08:00

This Sunday morning's an awesome morning to sleep in. The air's damp and wet. The weather breezy and cool. But I'm up. It's my uterus bloodied up and bruised in it's own fight club ring. Stopping me from sleeping any further. Good morning then.

The gloomy bits you don't need to read.

2011-08-06T11:45:00.002+08:00

The blessed month is here. Just like that, 5 days have passed. It's been nearly two weeks since my last update. Frankly, it didn't feel long at all. The online system training for the counselors is over. Meeting and talking to some of the counselors after the session was highly unexpected and truly inspirational. My plan to avoid totally backfired. I've had a few offers to go into social work but it's one hell of an emotional ride I can't handle. So I'm still... jobless and temping. I know it sounds pathetic but I'm just numb all over. The feeling is like when my fingers get poked by the needle several times while sewing that I don't even think to wince but just suck on it and carry on. Now that my hair's all long again, I feel it's the right time for me to chop it all off. I do that when I'm down. I think it's been awhile since my last melancholy that I'm able to let my hair grow. It's just been a bleak and somber week. I pray next week will be better.

Photo 60/365 '11.

2011-07-24T20:37:00.002+08:00

I've spent the majority of my weekend cooped up at home. While everyone else is at my grandparents', I'm home alone on a Sunday. I just felt that I'm not up for any social gatherings this weekend, even with family and close relatives. Today though had been better than yesterday. I managed to finish up some sewing. And YES my fingers did get poked a couple of times. Then I watched my sister baked butter cake with chocolate frosting, which is amazing by the way. Also, I finally finished the book I bought ages ago for 4 bucks from a book sale. After this, I'm going to go watch TV and armchair travel. Sometimes the best times of a person's life are spent alone.

You can throw as many stabs as you want at my back, but only God can take my life away.

2011-07-23T23:20:00.003+08:00

I wanted to come in here on Friday and blog about what happened at the big W. About how pissed off it had made me. About how sick I am of the "civil war". About the lack of communication and cooperation between the two teams. Because I do not want to be on anybody's side. Because I do not want to be a bloody messenger. All I want is to be on an island and get my work done properly without anyone bothering me with their unneccessary bull crap. Then I decided it's not worth it. But here I am, already half of what I wanted to rant about yesterday posted up. Have an awesome weekend people. Also, pray for Norway. Better yet, pray for the world. For all of us.

The misunderstood stood odd.

2011-07-19T23:28:00.000+08:00

Hi. I am experimenting pins with feathers now. Mainly for hijabis like myself. Inspired by the feather earrings and hair extensions. Initially I made 2 without the friendship braids. Brought it to work and my colleague told me she'd buy from me for 10 bucks. Hmmmm. So now I'm adding friendship braids. I thought I'd make one specially for this coming eid too. I still can't find a feather I really like though. Nice feathers are not cheap and not easy to come by.

This is my random Thursday night.

2011-07-14T23:12:00.006+08:00

The other day, I went to this craft shop at the train station in my neighborhood I didn't know existed! I bought some swarovski beads and then saw this metal brooch with a plain front, which I wasn't sure what to do with it but still bought it because I thought I could create something out of it. That. Always. Happens. So tonight I decided to use some left over fabric from my hand made totes and embroidered the Deathly Hallows sign from Harry Potter. And sort of made a badge using the metal brooch I bought. I'm actually pretty excited for the last film. It opens today but I'll only be watching it on Saturday. I'm tempted to make the lion mask Luna Lovegood wore. I'm normally not this enthusiastic but I guess it being the last one kinda hit me. It's like... if people thought you were dying, they gave you their full attention.

Facing a quarter mid-life crisis she asks,"What the hell is a Mayday Parade?"

2011-07-13T20:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night, while I was lying on my bed waiting for sleep to take me away, it dawned on me that I've... actually grown up. As I relived my convocation moments from last Friday in my head, I felt mildly impressed at myself for finishing it. I recalled my first year in uni when I'd cried shamelessly, begging my mum in the middle of the night to let me drop out of school. The crazy ang moh professors. The burnouts. Uni was totally not for me. Boy am I glad it's over. Now I'm faced with a different reality. Some days I really hate walking in the morning with the crowd to the train station. Sometimes I think you work your ass off and for what? In the working world, all we do is use each other. People are either in your face honest or liars. Either way it could hurt like hell. But heck that's life I guess. I'm glad people find me strange, I can get away with things.

Photo 59/365 '11.

2011-07-11T22:23:00.001+08:00

Best friend got engaged on Saturday. She was gorgeous. I was a bit of a mess haha. I also felt... a mixture of emotions I can't describe.

Photo 58/365 '11.

2011-07-11T22:18:00.001+08:00

After what felt like years, I finally conferred. Last Friday was the convocation. After nearly a year since my last lecture, I was finally able to wear the graduation robe and cap. Somehow I'm grateful to my mum who made me attend the ceremony. After all, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity no matter how bitter it could get. I was glad I had friends who share my sentiments.

This is my soft shock.

2011-06-27T23:32:00.005+08:00

Do you know that feeling you get when you step into a place from the past and all the sweet, bitter memories come rushing at you like a quick breeze? It's the same with songs. How Phoenix's Liztomania reminds me of my 2 months in Seoul. And also with food. Like how the smell of oatmeal reminds me of being in my grandma's old kitchen. And then today I stumbled upon the box of acrylic tubes under my bed, and I remembered the crazy hours it took me to paint one pair of canvas shoes. Bent over, with paint all over my hands and face. That at some point my nose became highly sensitive to the smell of acrylic, it overwhelmed my senses. Once I was finished with the shoes I'd run to the toilet and vomit and vomit and vomit. Weird how I miss all that.

I'm out of black thread.

2011-06-23T23:42:00.001+08:00

I guess it's been awhile? Well no, not really. I rarely get on the net these days. Apart from while I'm at work. My laptop's been in a coma for... nearly 2 months now. Perhaps more. I lost count. I'm currently reading a book I bought at a flea for 4 bucks and it's pretty good. I'm also aiming to finish 3 totes by the end of the month. The braided handles/slings are gonna be a killer. I'll get blisters on my fingers for going through the same routine for a long period of time. I wish I had a sewing machine.

Give me something else as a coping mechanism.

2011-06-17T19:32:00.001+08:00

Ever since that day, I never saw him again. Maybe he had been a figment of my imagination. Maybe he never existed. The glasses. The loud music. The smell of cigarettes. The coughing. It didn’t happen. And I’ve since stopped searching for that imagined face among the sea of strangers. Perhaps this is how I get myself to go to work every single day. Urban knight fantasies as a coping mechanism.

When sleep won't take me away.

2011-06-11T23:25:00.002+08:00

I thought I'd make my own zine. Since my first zine was printed and compiled by a friend, I thought I'd make myself this other one. I'm not so sure about the content yet. I think I'll be doing portraits and watercolor the hair and eyes. Hmmmm.

Photo 57/365 2011.

2011-06-10T23:55:00.000+08:00

This week's melancholy just got worse.

2011-06-06T23:06:00.000+08:00

Wait. It's only Monday?

Photo 56/365 2011.

2011-06-04T16:25:00.002+08:00

Saturday. While my parents and two youngest sibs are probably enjoying themselves (apart from the short errand) in Johor Bahru, my sis and I are stuck at home, having had entertained some technicians who came over to install broadband cable in our house. Thank you, Dad for making the appointment today. It took nearly 3 hours and I was of course not in the best of moods. Thank you, sis for being there. So yesterday, I was at Metro. My sis reminded me that I had a $70 Metro voucher, which was a gift I got from some friends. It'd been with me for awhile, and had no expiry date. I got myself this gorgeous Accessorize sling bag. I love the stuff from Accessorize but they're so damn expensive! Probably the amount of time put into the embroidery, details and funky designs. I could go for hours just looking at the things they have to offer. It's an awesome place for inspiration. Since I've got nothing better to do, below are some photos of random things found in my room. Tins I bought for God knows what. Some markers. The sling bag. The drawing is actually for a dress I want to tailor make since I got this amazing elephant printed Thai silk a few months back but have never got around to it. And yeah, I'm also starting on another embroidery. Doing triangles are definitely not easy for me.

Cropping and resizing on Paint is a pain in the heiney.

2011-06-02T23:55:00.000+08:00

Hi there. June is here. We're just into the first week of the month, and this only means one thing for me... mood swings. It's the time of the month when one quote comes to mind - "Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I'm an uncaring asshole and proud of it." Though not as extreme. Simply put, I am tired and uninspired. Disinterested. All the things I look forward to working on, I am half-hearted. I am suddenly at a position where I look at my drawings and creations and think that this is another one of those which everybody else is doing, and it looks no different whatsoever. A copy of a copy of a copy. I know it's not a bad thing. Originality is passe. More importantly who the hell cares? You do what you want to do, right? I just feel that I've worked so hard into thinking that I might be different only to realize no, not really. It's like you know tattoos are becoming less and less cool when you found out Pharrell Williams went through laser surgery to have his tattoos removed. True story. Too much of an "in" thing I guess will only turn mediocre and boring. I know after this week, this emotional rollercoaster ride will pass. But definitely this has been on my mind for quite some time now. Hmmmmm.

False martyr like faux rebel like I'm not sure if I'm making much sense.

2011-05-29T19:23:00.002+08:00

I met bestfriend last Friday. Finally after more than 2 months. Somehow the topic on marriage seemed unavoidable. And if she were to marry she'd like me to be her bridesmaid. We talked about many things too. And I realized that I've not accomplished much. It felt like being in one of those conversations where you listen to the other talk and sentence after sentence come colliding at your every thought resulting in an explosion of epiphanies. At the end of the conversation, you feel like shit. Still you try to hold a smile. So okay, though a part of me is bitter, I am truly happy for her. And I honestly can't wait to be a part of everything. Anyway, I shall spare myself the heartache. Unnecessary emotion is a waste of time. Below are some photos of my first embroidery experiment. Over and out.

Weezer subarashii desu ne!

2011-05-25T23:24:00.002+08:00

Ok... I declare this week Weezer week cos I cannot stop listening to them! :D And suddenly, I badly wanna go for the Fuji Rock Festival. Fik you going right?

What's the deal with my brain?
Why am I so obviously insane?

Oh this dope nose.

2011-05-24T22:51:00.004+08:00

Alright, today was Glee night. And as usual they're all awesome. But why won't they cover a song by Weezer??? I mean Weezer is awesomer and Rivers THE most awesomest rocker geek ever. Maybe he wasn't a drop out like Steve Jobs who's a total inspiration, but Rivers, he actually finished college and is a freaking Harvard graduate. And most importantly still rocks! Who wouldn't want to be smart AND rock n roll cool? Well enough about him. Here're some drawings I did like a few months back and go enjoy the live performance by Weezer :D Good night.

Dead, on my head
Wasting time, on my own
Sleep rescue me
Take me back to my home

Saying I know you've got a soul even though you're heartless.

2011-05-23T23:17:00.004+08:00

Today I went with some of the customer service/counselling team to check out and familiarize ourselves with the seminar location. Since it was only one bus away from my house, I reached home pretty early. The place had this awesome shade of red seats. Somehow I can't wait for Wednesday, which is the day of the event.

Here are some pencil sketches. It's been awhile.

Photo 55/365 2011.

2011-05-22T20:15:00.004+08:00

Today, I attended a wedding and I realized this isn't for me. I'm not saying I don't want to get married, I just feel that I'm not cut out for all the crowd and the chaos and the noise. The conversations were made up of shouts and yells like as if we were in a rock concert, when we're not. I shook hands and nodded at people I hardly knew. In the beginning I was all smiles and then it's just teeth. Perhaps it's the heat. I went to one freaking wedding only to find out that I've got 2 more friends getting married later this year. And then I got home, and House was on TV. It was at a scene after the end of a wedding event when all the guests have left, and most of the male casts stood by the bar drinking. Before the scene closed, Eric said, "I hate weddings." That's it. I hope this feeling isn't permanent. And... "Just for the record, the weather today is bitter with occasional fits of jealous rage."

Here are photos I took while waiting for the time/ before leaving the house. I'm gonna go now and listen to some Weezer. Enjoy/ or not (:

I never could do that which might hurt you, so try and be cool.

2011-05-22T13:37:00.001+08:00

Some drawings before I head out for a wedding.

Photo 54/2011.

2011-05-21T16:34:00.002+08:00

Hello awesome people. I'm currently experimenting embroidery. It's not so much fun. My fingers and hands never missed getting poked. I can't wait for the end product though. I'm doing this but I'm itching to paint canvas shoes again! Some photos before I get out of the house. Here you go!

The theme was mountains.

2011-05-17T12:58:00.000+08:00

Photo 53/365 2011.

2011-05-17T12:56:00.000+08:00

My bro threw away his couch. Now cats made it their home :3

Photo 52/365 2011.

2011-05-17T12:53:00.001+08:00

Cuppy cakes from an expo event. Personally not to my liking... didn't buy it anyway. It was my sis's.

Photo 51/365 2011.

2011-05-17T12:51:00.000+08:00

Breakfast at Macs. Pancakes loaded with butter and jam = win.

Photo 50/365 2011.

2011-05-17T12:50:00.000+08:00

Seoul Garden ala carte. Bimbimbap is not bad. Nom nom.

Photo 49/365 2011.

2011-05-17T12:49:00.001+08:00

Lunch at Barcelos. Personally better than Kenny Rogers. Free flow of drink yo.

I put my helmet on so no one would bother me.

2011-05-08T23:57:00.000+08:00

The weather's horrible, and I'm cranky. Monday tomorrow.

This is when there's too many cardboard scraps at home.

2011-05-07T13:48:00.003+08:00

"The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom. Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace." Chuck Palahniuk, Choke.

Big Brother, I hope you lose tonight. And even if you don't, I'm glad to know that I didn't vote for you (:

You know this place? You know this gloom? We've been here before.

2011-05-02T10:49:00.003+08:00

The weather today is slightly somber but nice. I wanted to try doing a video but then I realized my sister brought along our Canon dslr to Australia with her. Oh wells next time then.

Photo 48/365 2011.

2011-05-02T10:43:00.000+08:00

Breakfast @ Long John Silver.

Photo 47/365 2011.

2011-05-01T09:07:00.000+08:00

@ Beard Papa.

Photo 46/365 2011.

2011-05-01T09:05:00.002+08:00

Yummy hazelnut chocolate bar from Ikea.

Photo 45/365 2011.

2011-05-01T09:04:00.000+08:00

Lunch @ Sakura International Buffet.

Photo 44/365 2011.

2011-05-01T09:02:00.001+08:00

Lunch @ Eighteen Chefs.

Photo 43/365 2011.

2011-05-01T09:01:00.000+08:00

Dinner @ Hei Sushi.

Photo 42/365 2011.

2011-05-01T08:58:00.001+08:00

Dinner @ Secret Recipe.

Photo 41/365 2011.

2011-05-01T08:57:00.001+08:00

Dinner @ Ayam Bakar Ojolali.

I am the girl who dislikes coffee.

2011-04-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

Tea or cocoa for me please.

Photo 40/365 2011.

2011-04-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

I've no idea when was the last time I cycled and boy does it ache everywhere! Especially my thighs and feet. 3 hours at the park, walking and cycling. Bumped into my senior officer at the stables. She was with her cute little boy and husband checking out the little ponies haha. After today, I want to go cycling every weekend!

Photo 39/365 2011.

2011-04-24T07:35:00.000+08:00

It's 730am. I'm awake early on a Sunday. My parents will be back in the evening from their short getaway. Plan was to head to Pulau Ubin, but I just checked the weather forecast and there might be rain and thunderstorms. Not taking chances. I'm pretty much ready to go out though... but route still pending.

This is when mustache makes it more attractive.

2011-04-23T19:25:00.000+08:00

A drawing before I leave for dinner.

Photo 38/365 '11: This is brunch, awesome people.

2011-04-23T14:43:00.002+08:00

My parents have been away since Thursday night. Yesterday, my siblings and I went to Johor Bahru and hung out in the mall. We ate, window shopped and caught a movie. This morning, we were supposed to go to Pulau Ubin and cycle, but since we reached home close to midnight the night before, we only woke up in the afternoon. But now I feel like taking a walk or something.

This is for Earth Day.

2011-04-22T10:54:00.000+08:00

Bask in its glory... while it lasts. And don't forget to take care of it too, people. Like Brandon Boyd said, "We are an island."

This is when there's nothing good on TV.

2011-04-18T22:13:00.004+08:00

To Anonymous who commented on my previous post, I'm not sure which though. You asked: would you like to sell it? Somehow your comment fell under my Spam tab and so was accidentally deleted. I'm not sure if you're really a person or just some spam robot but if you are a person please leave a name or something so you won't fall under my spam haha, and if I'd like to sell it, do you mean the drawing or the tote? Thanks (: The comment "miraculously" came up in the actual post yay.

This is when I'm tired of doing work at work.

2011-04-18T19:53:00.002+08:00

This is what I do when I don't want to draw.

2011-04-10T12:48:00.001+08:00

This took me nearly two weeks to complete, whenever I was free or simply plain bored. It's basically a tote that can fit A4. It is completely hand sewn and now my fingers are blistered and a little numb. It reads "Mine" at the front. I initially wanted to have "What's wrong is everywhere." but can't due to lack of space and ribbons. I don't know what to do with it though. Give it away?

This is what I do when I can't sleep.

2011-04-10T12:41:00.000+08:00

Too much lozenges got to my head.

2011-04-07T21:21:00.000+08:00

This morning I fell in love with the guy who sat beside me on the train. If this is what you call love. No. Merely an attraction of some kind. I don't know. I'd been looking at the doors watching people enter and exit, but I hadn't seen him come in. When the lady beside me alighted, he'd come over out of nowhere to sit. Maybe I didn't notice him before because like many guys who took the train during morning peak hours, he was in office wear. I noticed the black rimmed geek glasses first. Later his cologne. It was sort of nice smelling. When he sat, I wanted to turn and have a good look at him. Isn't it strange how you're physically closest to the stranger sitting beside you but you normally don't know how they really look like? You only get as far as side glances go or the reflection from the opposite window. I watched his hands go into his bag and take out his iPhone. I watched his hands go up to plug the earphones in. Then he noticed me staring so I turned away. His music was loud. Not so much music but noise. What sounded like heavy metal, maybe punk. Near pandemonium. I could hear it over my Ingrid Michaelson's Keep Breathing. He was one of those smoke addicts I strangely admire. A false matyr. Underneath all the cologne I could smell the burnt resin and tar. Every few minutes he would be clearing his throat.

"Excuse me, would you like some lozenges I got from the doctor? It's for the throat." I'd asked him. He turned to me, slightly surprised.

No... of course that didn't happen. What happened was, I took one out and put it in my mouth instead. And then I dropped off at my stop without even looking at him. Maybe I'll see him again tomorrow.

Photo 37/365 2011.

2011-03-31T20:26:00.003+08:00

The paint on my room walls are totally dried up and are peeling badly. Especially on this particular wall by my bed. So I decided to glue on some printed tissue paper I bought for only $2 during the Borders sale. You know, the kind of tissue people wrapped clothes with. I thought it was totally worth the money as it had 2 sheets in a packet together with some free owl stickers too. I finally put it to some good use. And yay I've put up the Art House Co-op Sketchbook Project poster. Finally.

For Japan.

2011-03-30T19:25:00.004+08:00

This for anon who asked me on Formspring. I wanted to scan it but my scanner's being a brat and won't work on the desktop. For those who don't know, my laptop crashed and is now in a coma. Life is "awesome". Sigh. I want to go to Japan and volunteer. Or Myanmar.

Photo 36/365 2011.

2011-03-30T15:40:00.001+08:00

KL/Putrajaya trip with the sibs and cuzs in photos. Of course there are more but these will do for now. It was my first time to Putrajaya. We took the train A LOT. LRT, KLIA Express, KTM, Rapid KL. Took the bus twice and I think it's just amazing how we DO NOT have to be at the bus stop to hail for a bus. Public transport is the way to go people. And yeah, never had I took rides at the theme park until I vomited. Most of us did haha. Took the roller coaster twice and that wasn't even the scary one. I guess we all pushed ourselves for another ride and then another even after the headaches kicked in. The helicopter ride topped the whole trip. It was so much fun.

Thank you Azi for the heads up! If you ever wanna come down to Singapore, I'm more than willing to help out (:

Photo 35/365 2011.

2011-03-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

The morning following Earth Hour, my dad made pasta for breakfast. Yeah for awhile there, my dad was on a roll.

Photo 34/365 2011.

2011-03-29T21:44:00.001+08:00

During Earth Hour, my family had dinner in the dark. Then my mum lit some candles and so only the dining table was glowing. My dad made steak after such a long time!

Photo 33/365 2011.

2011-03-15T01:32:00.001+08:00

Last Saturday, my relatives from my mum's side had a barbecue by the beach. I ate and then cycled. Ate some more and then took a long walk. Ate some more and then cycled for the second time. And then ate some more until I couldn't take it anymore. Then went home to sleep. HAHA.

Photo 32/365 2011.

2011-03-15T01:26:00.001+08:00

This was dinner last Friday. Pastaaa. Together with some garlic bread and some chocolate molten lava cake. Yums.

Photo 31/365 2011.

2011-03-15T01:24:00.000+08:00

This was lunch early last week I think. Japanese bento. Now craving sushi. Oh nos.

Happy International Women's Day.

2011-03-08T23:52:00.013+08:00

Hi people. This is my 230th post. And. Today at work, the lawyer I attended to greeted me Happy International Women's Day. I'm posting this drawing up for the 2nd time 'cos I felt it suited what this day represents. So... Happy International Women's Day! Be awesome girls.

"If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking."

2011-03-08T00:49:00.004+08:00

I finally finished the book I mentioned on my last post, Procession of the Dead by D. B. Shan. I have to say that it's a good book. It was definitely a page turner. It was hard to put down because I desperately wanted to know how the end was like without skipping any pages. I know I'm a slow reader. I've always wondered how people can read so fast that the images in their head must have moved in motion blur. Or not. I don't know. But for me, I like to take my time envisaging the details; going back and re-creating the whole image in my head, changing bits and parts of it. So I've finally come to the end, and it was totally unexpected. Now I think I'm gonna check out some of my dad's books, which are mostly fantasy and sci-fi before I go back to reading Palahniuk, Murakami or Gaarder again. I gotta admit I don't read all genres of books. Or put it another way, I'm just fickle. Whatever right haha. But it's good to go back and forth between the two genres I like.

Patternified.

2011-03-06T02:46:00.003+08:00

It's the weekends. I'm still waiting for pay day so didn't go out much. But did manageed to buy some pretty awesome loot. I wanted to take photos but I've been busy organizing my clothes. Thinking of throwing out some stuff too. Also, planning the KL/Putrajaya trip with my siblings and cousins. We're hoping to check out the hot air balloon festival. Finally something to look forward to!!!

Photo 29/365 2011.

2011-02-26T16:15:00.004+08:00

Hello world. Or anyone who's up on the Internet. Or specifically anyone who's on my site reading this now haha. So yesterday I went to the huge Border's clearance sale up at Expo after work. My sisters and I bought a few books. I only bought one and some other misc. stuff I know I'm just gonna throw them in my box of other stuff I never do anything to. Like patterned papers, and ribbons, and postcards. Anyway, the book I bought was by an author I've never heard of. It's about this dude on his way to be an ultimate gangster and his aim to bring down The Cardinal, who is like the godfather of all godfathers. I like it 'cos it's mafia-like and also... it sort of fall under the fantasy genre too. Once in awhile I like to read books about separate universes and humans with powers and out of this world creatures. Although I only read until book 4 of the Harry Potter series, after that I simply got bored of it and resort to only the movie versions. Whoever said J.K. Rowling as the next J.R.R. Tolkein was seriously whacked. Also on the Thursday before, I popped by the Borders at Wheelock and bought Chuck Palahniuk's Diary. Yesss my favorite of all his books and I know I've borrowed them from the library countless times but I HAD TO BUY THIS one 'cos the cover's by Vintage and it is so damn nice! :D

Like I'm falling out of bed from a long, weary dream.

2011-02-23T22:21:00.000+08:00