This is my half cup empty.

Tonight I'm feeling pretty emotional. I don't know where did all these feelings come from. But they did, and they all came at once. And they all came while my womb is having its fit and is being a pain in the you-know-what. My sides hurt and my legs ache. My face is a frown and my eyes teary. And I'm thinking work, the weekend and my non-existent submissions. I'm sitting down motionless but my heart is beating like I'm doing jumping jacks. I'm thinking about traveling, new bed sheets and cushion covers. All these thoughts while looking over at the untouched books on my chest of drawers. And think my new sketchbook I'd left inside my drawer in the office, I keep forgetting to bring home. I close my eyes and see Chiang Mai, Phuket, Jakarta, Bandung, Seoul, Busan, all the places I've traveled to with friends. The thoughts are images in montage. I open my eyes and I see myself sitting on the stairs with Moyang talking and people watching. I look away and I see my late grandma standing under the void deck of my old block with a glazed expression. I blink and find myself thinking about all my secrets that nobody will ever know. All the dreams that never came true. All the efforts that never came through. I feel overwhelmed and I know I should be crying. But my uterus is in too much pain I'm angry. I'm staring at my halfway embroidery and thinking when am I going to complete this. If God wills it, maybe tomorrow.