Hello.

Space includes photos captured by me, my drawings and paintings, and other miscellaneous art-related projects. Though still a noob, they are, after all, products of my boredom, hoping that something good will come out of it, some day that may be one will turn out to be some kind of masterpiece (: Enjoy.

nadzera@hotmail.com

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Friday, November 23, 2012

This was on draft since Friday, and has no fullstops.


It's Friday
I woke up at 6:22AM without the help of my alarm
I left my bacon croissant sandwich I made in the morning for lunch and the instant Cadbury hot choc packet on the dining table at home
I keep forgetting stuff
To keep myself from falling asleep on my desk, I made tea with no sugar so thick and bitter I winced every time I took a sip
I just downloaded all of John Green's novels and I hope to finish reading it all this weekend
Sneaking pages between reports, emails and billings because my work was mundane and my brain needed a break
I'm mid through Looking for Alaska and I don't get what all the hype is about still
Smart kids who drink, smoke, do stupid pranks and talk about a great perhaps but does nothing amazing really, just like my life minus the drinking, smoking, pranking and high GPA
I don't know why I'm so bitter right now
Maybe it's due to all the thinking I did last night before sleep
All the late night thinking after I'd just met Darth earlier and realized Darth and I are very very VERY different
I had realized this before but this came as an epiphany
Which led to many more thoughts
You know how epiphanies are, when it happens you just want to stop everything and start over
I don't know what I've done and what I'm doing with my life really
(I know, this is getting too familiar)
I'm painfully boring, I hate socializing and I can't drive
I've problem speaking, I don't talk to my parents, I'm just not articulate, you know
Oh God, I've achieved nothing
I don't know how Darth tolerates me 
How he put up with me, he deserves someone better
My always keeping to myself and my lack of smart things to say
I don't know what he sees in me, with my below 3 point oh GPA
My pretty lazy drawings, my sad angry silences, my non optimist, my chronic bitch face, my I-don't-know I-don't-really-care
I am envious of him, of Mun with her strong group of close friends and her smiling eyes, of Ami with her discipline and determination
Mad at my lack of
This pales in comparison to what is happening in Gaza, everyone with their prayers and I feel helpless
Like it angers and pains me but I don't know how to help them
I feel a headache coming up
And why amidst all these thoughts and typed feelings, Darth sent me a random text to tell me that 'You're special'
And I've not even spoken to him yet about anything
I never do actually
Oh Darth.



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