This is the part where I say, it's complicated.

This week's been pretty intense. The kind where you come to work the next day and people question your swollen eyes. When a close friend asks if you'd been crying and while you explain your situation your voice trembles. It was another day of words that stab at your heart. The kind of truth that hurts. The kind of overwhelm that overflows. The kind of pressure that makes you want to explode. People telling me to forget about it but I can't. I may forgive but forget... I cannot do.

I also asked God if He could make me sick. Everyone else was falling sick from flu and fever. And I thought, why not me? And I questioned if God had love them more. Yes, I was jealous. Is that crazy? And He did. With the worst kind of throbbing pain and three days of sleepless nights. I just blew 200 bucks on dental and it still hurts. And every 8 hours I've been popping in painkillers. Before I went to the dentist it was 4 pills every 6 hours. Is that crazy?

Now I'm broke. I deserve this. I finally finished the embroidery for my aunt. She paid me a hundred bucks, which I didn't even ask for. And I blew it on painkillers and antibiotics. I honestly think I don't deserve the hundred dollars. But well it helped pay for dental. There goes my savings for a pair of Dr. Martens.

So yeah, the week's been pretty crazy intense.